Down the Rabbit Hole: My Journey to Creating Something New

Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle? Like you're living on repeat, doing the same things day in and day out, yet constantly yearning for something more? That was me. I’ve always been drawn to the magic of the stage, whether performing, stage managing, or just simply getting lost in the creative process. But lately, I found myself at a crossroads, feeling burnt out and undervalued, despite pouring everything I had into my passion. I knew I needed a change.

This is where things got interesting.

In a casual conversation with an old friend of mine, venting some of life’s frustrations, I said I would love to start my own theatre company, but only spooky shows. “Fun obscure shit that would appeal to the elders and baby bats.”

Enter ChatGPT - GOOD GOD that rabbit hole was DEEP! I started asking questions—lots of questions. I dug deep, seeking answers not just about the logistics of starting something new but about my own motivations, my hopes, and the fears that kept me anchored to the familiar. "Should I start my own theatre company? How do I even begin? What if, what if, WHAT IF???"

Each question was like a breadcrumb, leading me deeper into a world of possibilities. I found myself exploring so many fascinating concepts: a spooky, twisted theatre company focused solely on dark plays, a place where every shadow has a story, and the unconventional becomes the norm. I wanted to create something that resonated with me—something that felt authentic and exciting.

Naturally, I was overwhelmed . I still am - the information overload is REAL right now. However, I know I don’t have to have all the answers right away. I just needed to keep asking the right questions, no matter how many times I doubled back or changed my mind. I realized that every moment of doubt and every hesitation was just part of the process.

So, here I am, sharing this journey with you—the ups, the downs, and all the twists in between. I’m building something from the ground up, piecing it together one idea at a time, and inviting you along for the ride. There’s a lot more planning to do, and the vision is still coming into focus, but that’s the thrill of it all.

If you’re reading this and feeling a bit stuck, I encourage you to ask yourself a simple question: What if? What if you followed that wild idea, chased that gut feeling, or took one small step toward the unknown? You never know where it might lead.

Why “Shadowplay”

So, why "Shadowplay"? The name came to me after numerous brainstorming sessions, tossing around iterations of alliterations, puns, clichés, and ideas that felt too on the nose or just didn’t quite fit. (Confession—I’m a huge fan of True Blood and wanted something as fun and catchy as “Fangtasia.”) But I wanted something that encapsulated the eerie, the unseen, and the unconventional—a name that could capture the dark, twisted plays I envisioned bringing to life. I wanted a name that would make people pause and wonder, something that would set the tone before the curtain even rose.

"Shadowplay" felt right because it’s more than just a name (and a great song)—it’s a mood. It’s the interplay between light and darkness, where the shadows are just as important as the light that casts them. It’s the tension, the mystery, and the little thrill of the unknown. It’s about telling stories that lurk in the dark corners of our minds, which are a bit unsettling but all too human.

The idea of shadows primarily speaks to the themes I want to explore: stories that challenge, provoke, and make us confront uncomfortable truths. I kept coming back to Carl Jung’s concept of the “shadow”—those hidden parts of ourselves we often suppress but are vital to who we truly are. Jung believed that confronting our shadows is essential to becoming whole, and I wanted to bring that same idea to the stage. Shadowplay is about bringing those narratives out of the darkness and into the spotlight. It's about embracing the things we often shy away from—fear, uncertainty, and the darker sides of life—and finding beauty and truth within them. Hence, the name Shadowplay.

I envision using shadows not just in the stories we tell but in the production itself—projected images, lighting techniques, and design elements that create an immersive atmosphere where the audience feels wrapped up in the experience. It’s about keeping things fresh, not falling into the trap of being too literal or predictable, and always playing with perception.

But at its core, Shadowplay is personal. It’s about my own journey, stepping out of someone else’s vision and creating a space that feels like mine. It’s my way of reclaiming the joy of storytelling and redefining what theatre can be. I want it to be a haven for those who, like me, feel a pull toward the weird, the wonderful, and the things that go bump in the night.

I started sharing my ideas with friends and my sister, tossing around concepts over drinks or late-night calls and texts. The more I talked about it, the more it felt like this crazy idea wasn’t just in my head—it was something that others could see and believe in, too. They were excited, asking questions, and giving me the kind of encouragement that made everything feel possible.

And then there was this moment—this wild, heart-racing moment—when it hit me, and all I could think was: holy shit, I’m actually doing this! During all my digging, playing with ideas, and talking to friends, I realized this is real.

This is happening. Shadowplay is more than just a company; it’s a commitment to embracing the unknown, asking the hard questions, and never being afraid of the dark. It’s a place where every performance is a new exploration, where shadows tell the stories we might otherwise be too afraid to face.

This is why Shadowplay. And I can’t wait to see where it takes us.